Tuesday, October 16, 2012

It's Time....

Well I’ve sort of been putting this post off! Not the actual post but what I’m going to say.
I’ve been sorta lacking lately. Lacking AND slacking.
I know I know…..Bad Jessica.
I weighed this morning because my bad decisions and lack of decisions had me feeling guilty/curious.
I'm happy to say I haven’t gained …..but sad to say, I haven’t lost either.
I don’t know what it is lately. No excuses, Its my fault all the way, but let me explain (I'll feel better)(lol) I don’t know why but after work, all I want to do is go home and just eat! And that’s what I've been doing . Granted Ive been eating food at the house and its not technically bad food (because we don’t keep junk in the house) its only my diet food….but In excess, diet food can be bad. Example: one serving of whole grain gold fish is 130 or so calories…..but half of the bag…is not. Another example: ¾ cup of special K is like 120 calories plus the milk of course…..but a whole bowl without measureing…and another right after..is not.. you get the point? Lol
I'm guessing the reason I haven’t gained is because On the days I haven’t made it to the gym (yes…days.) I don’t like that word plural in this sentence. I did actually talk myself into doing my Jillian workout before bed….. And I guess that’s what keep me right at the same weight
Anyway, I'm not real sure what it is, I have had no energy! Then I had some neck issues, and knee issues ( I swear up and down my bones were not made for my body) lol. On top of everything, I have just been feeling sluggish and BLAH. Then I started my cycle….blah blah blah.
I know it’s not an excuse, but hey, its my life right now. But then, at the perfect time, I read a blog from a fellow blogger. And it really snapped me outta this! Almost like a slap in the face. A much needed one. Lol.
Like I mentioned before, Ive been doing this for 7 months now and lost 66 pounds and several inches and have really turned my life around and I'm so proud of myself. However, I'm coming up on my last 20 pounds to reach my goal. You don’t understand, I have had this goal for years and I never even made it to 10 lbs lost much less 66. And to have done all that and be so close, is so surreal. Sometimes I think I'm dreaming. I never thought I had it in me, I feel bad saying that, but its true. So the last 20 lbs is hard because I'm getting tired, burnt out, bored.  
Its weird, you'd think by now Id be so used to it and it would be a breeze....but its the opposite.  My body is rebelling!
Anyway....This post is genius. LosingIt! Blog Post ..Read first or else you will not know what the heck I'm about to say
So I for sure am married to my diet, Ive worked harder than I ever have, which is why I finally beat my 10lb curse. However, lately, I have been straying a little bit. I don't want to be unfaithful I want to bee 100% committed! I need to focus! Its nice to know I'm human and I will make mistakes and I wont be perfect all day of every day, but I can try my hardest to be pretty close to it. It true, losing weight and becoming healthier IS a commitment. You have to want it. And if you commit to love someone for the rest of your life and make them happy and be there for them and give them all of you, why cant you do the same for yourself.
love yourself.
make yourself proud.
make yourself happy
be the best version of you.
treat your body like a temple as GOD intended.
Cherish yourself.
Its not about being selfish, its about loving yourself. Because how can you love someone else, if you don't love yourself?
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