Where did you go?

Wow...this week has been crazy, I've missed two days by now! Its Wednesday....half way to the weekend and i'm excited about that.

I have to admit, lately my husband has been hiding my scale before Monday that way I wont peek through out the week and have it potentially let me down. And I guess its slipped his mind because there it sits....in the bathroom. In all its glory, calling my name! So I give in and weigh (in the morning when i first wake up) I think it has something to so with the obsession of making it to 199. And i'm on the brink!!! 202....so close I can taste it. And Its just been sort of hard to break the 200's. At least for me, I feel like I've been stuck here for weeks....and I know I haven't, but it feels like it. Its crazy to think I was almost 250 at one point and before to long ill be almost half that!

Well yesterday I did a good workout and did a total of 12 miles between the bike and treadmill!! So I felt supper skinny this morning. lol. Today I'm going to mesquite and eating with mom and grandma, and i'm a little nervous because they are making these really yummy cheese enchiladas, and man, I could eat the whole thing probably! So cutting myself off is going to be soooo hard. But I have to be good for my weigh in on Saturday. 199!!!!!  Well tomorrow im doing something called "Pinterest Thursday" I'm going to post 5 things I gathered from pinterest that I love!


Almost forgot.......


I found this on a website....and I must say, im extremely excited to try this. Yummers! Anything that will make drinking protein more tasty and fun, im all in. Sometimes its like taking medicine, very chalky and dull flavored.

                                                 

                                                 Cake Batter Protein Shake                                                        

1/2 cup	Low fat cottage cheese
1	Scoop vanilla protein powder
3-5	Drops butter or almond extract
1 tbs	Vanilla sugar free instant pudding mix OR 1/2 tsp vanilla extractanilla sugar free instant pudding mix OR 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3-5	Stevia packets (or sweetener of choice to taste)
1/2 cup-1cup	Water (Alter this according to desired consistency)
5-10	Ice Cubes (Depending on how thick you like it, use less for a thinner consistency)
Optional:	1/2 tsp xanthan gum
	Sprinkles for topping!

¹ Cottage cheese may sound strange, but TRUST me… this is what makes the ‘MILKSHAKE’ consistency! Also, if you are sensitive to dairy, you can use tofu to get the same consistency!

² I use Designer Whey Protein powder. It has 100 calories per scoop. I buy the vanilla flavor because it’s a good base to add whatever flavors you want to make. It is also all natural. You can buy it from Kroger, GNC, Trader Joe’s, Amazon, or Netrition.com.

³ You can get xanthan gum from most grocery stores in the gluten free section! Just a pinch of it makes your shake so thick and creamy!

until tomorrow.

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Skinny Bitches....

Haha....this is funny, had to share. Wish it was that easy. :PPin It Now!

Artsy Fartsy

Today I was in a crafty mood.....

Starters, I had a peach and strawberry smoothie...made it myself :) And Then I went to the gym with Eric, we did our power lifting for our Legs, I'm going to be sore in the morning!!! Then I did some running and stair steppers. Drove in to Mesquite-o to my grandmas and we had homemade green beans, smashed baked potatoes and grilled pork chops....and Went to Jo Anns!  I retrieved some perler beads, and my inner child has emerged and I've gone crazy bananas! officially. haha. I made a couple of things.....I made beads out of them....

First I pre- Heated the oven to 400 F and stood them up on parchment paper and baked them for about 5 minutes, then Let them cool off, and wa-la! beads.....

As silly as this sounds, the closer I get to my goal, the more I actually want to wear cute accessories and try harder when it comes to my looks. When I was bigger, There was no point in making jewelry and buying cute accessories, because i did not think they looked cute on me, especially when all you wear are baggy clothes and sweat pants. So, now that i'm getting there, I have that longing to wear and buy and make cute stuff again!! 

I also made this for my ear phone cord to my MP3 player so it doesn't get tangled and stuff while i'm running!

So that was the rest of my night...lol. That and doing some pinterest hunting. Tomorrow is back to work and another week getting closer to my goal!!!Tomorrow I will share a few recipes I live by!! Until tomorrow...

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Weigh Day 06/23/2012

Well today was weigh day and the magic number is...

                                                                        203


I must admit, I was a little taken back by this number and twinge of disappointment flooded threw me. I was hoping for 4 lbs....not 2. I guess this first half of this process spoiled me to the 4 lbs a week every week....but now I'm entering the hard part of this journey, and its going to get harder and harder. My husband helped me to realize that 2 pounds is better than none. And that it is nothing to be ashamed of. I should be happy......How selfish of me!! And also, I did some math and even if i only lose 2 pounds a week, I can still be at my goal weight in late October early November. Which My goal is Christmas. If not completely there, almost. That's when I want to take my final After photo with my brother that we took Christmas of 2011. Anyway....despite the mixed feelings this morning, We had our splurge meal. Chinese Buffet. And it was yummy. Back on track tomorrow.

Me and Eric also went to ALDI this morning and got all my groceries...

And got all this awesome fruit! Strawberries, blueberries, apples, plums, kiwi, and frozen peaches & strawberries for my fruit smoothies...all for $9.50!! Oh how I love ALDI.

Also went to half price book store and picked up two Jodi Picoult books for $3.00 each, 

And I love to read while i'm on the stationary bike or on the elliptical. Cant wait to start one of these.

Well tomorrow is going to pretty busy we are seeing off my niece for her summer camp for heart patients through children's hospital and also going to my grandmas and going to eat and a show she bought tickets for. Will be fun, pictures to follow! Until Tomorrow.

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F.R.I.D.A.Y. I love you

F.R.I.D.A.Y......I love you.

Today was challenging a little because Its Friday and i'm just sort of beat from the week and really wanted to drive on past the gym and into whataburger and get chicken strips ::drool:: and go on home and eat and watch T.v......But I drove on to the gym and did 2 miles on the elliptical , 1 mile on the treadmill and a little weight lifting. I'm super glad I went and didn't revert to my old ways, that would of been devastating to blow a whole week of hard work. plus, tomorrow is WEIGH DAY!!!! I'm so excited but kind of nervous. I want 199 soooo bad, but i'm realistic and probably will be next week. But I hope i get pretty close!

Well I went to Old Navy and got some clothes on the clearance rack....that's how i roll! lol and I got this cute hello Kitty shirt....and its a size smaller than normal. ::smiles::

Well, Today I decided to go on my Pinterest recipe list and i decided on this...

Roasted cabbage. 

it was yummy!!! Well tomorrow is weigh day!! Until Tomorrow!!

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Pizza & Cookies....or not.

I am so drained! For some reason today I feel kind of warn out....But otherwise I still had a good day. Work was good but busy, I stayed on my diet all day despite the temptation of pizza AND cookies. I had a lean cuisine instead with a salad and I had 1 small cookie that was 90 calories...normally I would've had like 5 or 6 maybe more, and stuffed some in my desk. lol. But I was afraid if I walked away I would waltz back and splurge...sometimes you have to treat yourself, as long as it is moderation, no biggie.

After work i went to my grandmas and me and my mom and her all went to the pool and hung out, and ate a chicken fajita salad with black beans pool side! So good! And went swimming and did some water aerobics. Normally it being THURSDAY it would be my step up class at the gym, but since I went to my grandmas, I came home and did some P90X. whew. I'm ready for bed. Ill post more tomorrow, I just don't have the energy tonight...

Until Tomorrow...<3


Oh and my brother sent me pictures of my beautiful niece Rhiannon from her dance competition....Adorable.

Ill tell you one thing I love more than anything...being an Aunt. I love my neice and my nephew so much! Off topic...lol. <3

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Reverse This Curse

Oh Yea it Did!!!  Today I had to stay late at work so instead of going to the gym, I came home and Did P90X Kenpo Cardio workout...Which is an hour long of kicking and punching and all kinds of things, Its fun and you sweat like crazy!! And no i don't get paid to say i like it. haha 

On a more serious note, All I can think about lately is how close I am to the 100's again...and I'm beginning to get a little inpatient! :( I just want to be at my goal weight already! I know its not going to be easy, it hasn't so far...and it will only get harder to lose weight. I know it will be worth it, however, i'm so ready to be happy and healthy and confident. It just really sucks that I have to wait for it. But, I did get to this spot because of my poor decisions, so I have to make the right ones and reverse this curse!

But sometimes I still find myself thinking how unfair it is that I have to work as hard as I do to become what some people already are naturally. Its so frustrating. But again, I have no one to blame but myself. And I just stop and think about how ugly it is to be envious or jealous....

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
                                                                                                                        James 3:14-16

Now for the Wednesday Weight Loss Tip #2:

                                       Drinking 8 cups of water a Day...

*Increases metabolism(cold water)     

*Fills you up (Hot water)   

* Helps w/weight loss

*Flushes out toxins     

*Healthier Skin       

*Reduces risk of certain cancers    

*Helps digestion and constipation        

*Relieve Fatigue    

* and improves overall health

   SO DRINK UP!!!!

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T-shirt Quilt

Today I came home and worked on my Tee shirt Quilt....

These are all shirts that I wore during my biggest and they are really baggy on me now! So I decided to make a quilt out of them because regardless of the situation, this was a part of my life. These clothes will remind me of how big i got and my journey to where I want to be. When i see these clothes, I see myself wearing them and how unhappy I was. Alot of these shirts I used to hide. I hid behind them, tried to hide my imperfections, my fat, and my unhappiness....but now more!! Now I will cover up with them when Im cold! 

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Boredom at It's Finest

Well Today Is Fathers Day and Today I splurged a little because my grandma made a great homemade meal and german chocolate cake! But I did do good the rest of the day and came home and did P90X Kenpo, and wow, that sure is a workout. So now im going to drink A whey protein shake and eat some fruit and call it a day! Tomorrow is Monday so it is back on track, and im 4 pounds lighter than last monday, so thats awesome in itself!

My husband is watching basketball and my coloring book/crayons were out from when my nephew was over....

Sooo...I found myself being bored, and wanted to go and get the bag of pretzels and eat them all!!! But instead, I colored a page...lol. Talk about bored! Here it is...

Silly I know, But it felt good being a Kid again. haha

Before I go, I want to share my Craving Tip #2:

Go nuts.

Drink two glasses of water and eat an ounce of nuts (6 walnuts, 12 almonds or 20 peanuts). Within 20 minutes, this can extinguish your craving and dampen your appetite by changing your body chemistry.

Until tomorrow...<3

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Weigh In 6/16/2012

I Love This ^

Well Today was weigh in...Drum roll.....

205

4 lbs since last Saturday! Woo Hoo. 5 more pounds and I will see a one instead of a two on the scale...that's crazy!! I'm so excited!! 

Now that the weigh in is out of the way...

 Today was good, Me and Baby Michael went swimming....

And then we colored and played and me and Eric drove in to mesquite to take him home and went and had our splurge meal. Which by the way is super important! We do good all week and on one day, usually Saturday we go out to eat or cook a good meal. This helps to not binge or feel slighted for the week ahead. Then as we were getting groceries I made a silly, but neat discovery! Normally, as you walk out if you look up you can see the surveillance camera and you can watch yourself walk out...lol Well I would always look at myself and think how huge I looked, and eventually just wouldn't look....well today, I looked. And I looked Good....Its so simple, but I just smiled. Its these small things that really just help me along the way...

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Importance of Support

I'm watching my Nephew tonight and tomorrow and we went for a nice sunset walk...which worked out good because I didn't get to go to the gym today! 

Which brings me to a good topic....The importance of Support!

If i know one thing that's true, my saving grace has been my friends and family. Its so great having people who support you! Its those everyday small things that count. Like when i went with my mom to take my niece to the zoo, she made sure we had healthy snacks with us. And My mimi always being considerate when it comes to cooking healthy when i come over or taking me to Souper! Salad instead of Chili's or somewhere. Or my husband always willing to eat healthy with me, even though he doesn't need to! lol. Its the little things that your support group does for you, that will make a difference! 

Also important....Letting people know your dieting/losing weight. Trust me, this makes all the difference! Having everyone you come in contact with know what your doing will help you hold yourself accountable! And makes you more determined to do it and show people you can. If you tell everyone at home but not your co-workers, not only will they unknowingly tempt you, but you will find it easy to always give in because they do not know. So i told EVERYONE. Makes me want to be good all the time, when all these people i told are watching! haha.

Well tomorrow I will post my weigh in!! Remember, last Saturday I was 209....so lets see...

Until Tomorrow....<3

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Mirror Mirror on the wall.....

Its so strange, Although I have a long way to go, it is so awesome being able to actually look at myself in the mirror and not just walk by it....And actually like taking pictures of myself. 

I can spend so much time now in the bathroom just marveling at how much I've changed in the past 3 months. Not that i'm conceited, but try being so disgusted and ashamed of yourself and your body for 7 years and then finally seeing the things you missed! Like a smaller stomach, double chin gone, thighs getting further apart (lol) and my favorite...a tighter butt. All for my Hubby! 

Craving Tip #1:

When I am hungry or bored between my meals and just want to eat for the heck of it, I chew gum. Sugar free gum of course. I always have a few different flavors on me, it makes it a little more exciting being able to pick a flavor i'm craving at the time. They even have desert flavors like apple pie and mint chocolate chip and  they are delicious. My favorite are the trident layers, the sweet cherry island lime taste like a sonic Limeade YUM. 

So if you just need something to chew on...reach for a piece or two of sugar free gum until your next snack/meal. :D

Don't forget, Saturday is my weigh in....Until Tomorrow.

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Before and After...Half way there!

So this is the picture that started it all, obviously on the left. This is me and my bubba on Christmas of 2011....And let me tell you, i remember that day well. I remember putting on my sequin tank top and jeans and slipping on my little black slinky shawl and thinking how cute i looked. Although I know i'm overweight and am completely unhappy with myself at this point...I thought not to shabby and also thought i actually looked kind of thin. So a few weeks later when i looked at this picture, i could not believe how fat i looked...I was appalled. I just remember looking at this person and crying for her. This wasn't me, and yet i hated that it was. So here I am, around 40 lbs lighter and i STILL have 40 more to go. But i'm glad i'm finally doing this. I cant tell you how many times i began and did good for a week and then messed up...this cycle has been going on for years. And i finally broke it (pat on the back) Well, here are a few things that I'm really looking forward to as i lose more and get to my goal weight!

* Being comfortable and sexy around my husband again

* Not having so much anxiety in public places

* being able to go to he pool and not wear capri's or cover ups

* go to six flags or somewhere and not have to wear pants and shirts, being able to wear shorts and tank top 

* paint my toe nails without my fat getting in the way (its already gotten better)

* For once, not have to go to the plus size side or embarrassingly look through the maternity section

* Not cover up with jackets or sweaters

* feel confident enough to wear cute accessories 

* finally be able to express my true style, something i cant do when your big, b/c they don't make your size

* not have to pull jeans up over your fat when you sit down

* not feel embarrassed to meet my husbands friends b/c i feel sorry he has to show his friends the way i look

* go to the doctor and not be afraid to step on the scale

I honestly cant tell you why or how I got as big as i did, all i can say is i'm not proud of it. i'm not saying big is not beautiful, or anyone overweight is bad or ugly. I'm saying I'm not happy and i haven't been. me personally, its not the life for me, and i'm so blessed i finally snapped out of it.

*** On December This year, I plan on taking the exact same picture of me and my brother, to show my finale before and after. According to my calculations I will meet my goal in October, so most definitely by Christmas.***

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Sweet Tooth Fix

Today I had a sweet tooth and So along with my pledge to not eat sweets, I decided to come up with an idea that would not compromise my promise to myself but that would also not leave me feeling slighted....so here is what i decided on!    

FRESH FRUIT POPSICLE

I cut up fresh strawberries, blueberries, grapes, and peaches and filled up some Popsicle molds and then poured a little bit of juice (use what ever you like or have in your fridge) just enough to cover the fruit and put in the freezer! So now when I'm feeling like i want to be naughty, ill just go grab me one of these! And I wont even feel guilty! Talk about awesome!            

Wednesdays weight loss Tip #1:

I do this a few times a day, along with my abs exercises, and you can feel it! I especially love how convenient it is, you can do it at work, in the elevator, no matter where you are, do a quick 20 seconds and it can make a difference over time!

Well Tomorrow I will be posting the picture that started it all! I'm nervous but excited to show people the one thing I despised the most....my biggest self. Until tomorrow!

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Half Way There...

Today Marks Chapter two in my weight loss journey... I'm almost officially half way there! And I'm super excited about that. :D I started out at 237 pounds (and have gotten all the way up to 249!!) And I'm proud to say I'm down to 209. My goal is 165-170. I cant tell you how it will feel to reach 199. Seeing a one instead of a two will mean so much to me.

You might be thinking why start a Blog now? Well honestly... that's a good question. I've kept a Diet journal, But decided Id rather do it this way, and I do have so much more to learn and share, and I still have 40 or so more pounds to lose. Plus I like the idea of maybe being able to share with people who are going through something similar how I've done it thus far. Even if not a soul reads this, it is something Id like to look back on and read myself...lol.

So Today was hard because we had lunch catered at work and I did indulge a little BUT i followed some simple steps for when you binge. I had a large portion of pasta and some fruit as well as two zucchini muffins...however I did pass on the cheesecake. so not all was lost. Could've been worse.

After a Binge....

<3  Drink lots of H2O (water flushes out toxins and will help eliminate water weight)
<3 Eat fruits and vegetables (Your body will be nutrient deprived, plus they are calorie light)
<3 Work out ( your metabolism is proven to be boosted for several hours after you exercise)

But most importantly....

<3 MOVE ON!  (you cant change what happened yesterday, but you can decide what happens tomorrow.)


So anyway, these steps really helped me not totally ruin my progress. 237lb jessica would have just thought, "well I messed up, ill just start back on Monday" even though it is barely Tuesday!

My next weigh in is on Saturday June 16th and I will be posting my weigh in! Tomorrow I will be posting something I will call my weekly Wednesday fitness Tip!! Until Then....Pin It Now!